One day in March 2020 I got on a bus to go to work and although I was aware that a pandemic was looming, my government assured me that we were still safe in the community unless we had travelled. This turned out to not only be false, but this bus journey was to be the last I would make this year.
I’ve already written a post on my journey through covid but I never expected to still be on the sofa in September.
I have my post embolism recovery (those clots are still there), and my post covid recovery and between the two I feel pretty well battered. Writing on the website takes longer, and more brain power than it did before. Organising tasks ahead of time is nigh on impossible and absolutely everything has to be written down or it’s simply forgotten. I feel angry, sad, lost and isolated at times but also still have moments of happiness and that happiness is in my family, hamsters and dogs.
Breeding wise, the hamstery faces an uncertain future. Whilst I’m hoping to still be able to help out my club and the National Hamster Council in my role as treasurer, my breeding is a different issue. The exertion involved means my husband is already shouldering most of the work for me when it comes to feeding and cleaning. Should my condition become more permanent, I will review burdening him with my hobby when he has his own work to do.
I’m told there are naysayers on social media who claim covid simply does not exist. Perhaps instead of spreading falsehoods online they should count themselves lucky. Lucky that they themselves, their family or friends have not been touched by this illness. Perhaps it’s too much to hope for but I assure the country that I do exist!
Pacing is my friend. If you are in the same position as me, pacing is honestly the way forward for the physical exertion. Mentally it’s more difficult. It’s hard to pace this when, like me, you are used to multitasking three or four jobs at once while on the phone and answering emails. This has, hands down, been the most difficult part of this debilitating condition. Losing my mind, quite literally. I have to remember that even ‘just’ writing this blog will mean I need to rest my brain. It’s not just about pacing what you perceive as a job like building a shopping list or answering emails etc. It’s the fun stuff that you like to do too. If it’s brain heavy then pace it. Rest, nap, be present in the moment, do something that you can switch off to like listening to music.
What happens next is uncertain. Investigations are still ongoing and results are still pending. I’m in limbo for now but there’s hope that full recovery is still attainable, it just feels very far away! In the meantime the hamsters will carry on breeding so I can keep my lines running and have something positive to focus on.
If you’ve been touched by any of the issues in this blog and feel like you need to reach out, there should be support groups in your local area. If you are a member of the hamster fancy consider reaching out to your club. Write your experiences into the journal to help other members.